I Am Speaking Out For Every Sexual Assault Survivor

 When something this big happens, there is no right or wrong way to act, feel, or be. There is only whatever you must do to keep yourself afloat. Work was my only escape. I could block the hell that was my home life and throw myself into my work. I got a raise within a month of my attack for my work performance.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard people say I couldn’t be believed because I was so numb that I didn’t ‘act’ like a rape victim, whatever that means. My attacker eventually told the judge he was guilty. This still was not enough to sway the minds of those who didn’t believe me.


Going through the court process, I wanted to drop the charges so many times, not because I wanted him to get away with it, but I was just so tired of it all. I wasn’t

suicidal per se, but I wanted to die. I didn’t know there was a difference until I felt it. This was the moment that I froze, half from fear and half from survival instincts kicking in. Freezing was a big part of why I did not believe I was raped for several days. I’ve seen disgusting comments about rape victims who are overweight. I definitely thought of that when I had these photos taken. I knew I could get negative responses. I was able to go to counceling and seek legal advice through the Resource and Crisis Center in my area. The amount of support that I received from family, friends, and even strangers was overwhelming.

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